Saturday, April 29, 2017

Too sad to laugh

Sitting at a party, too sad to laugh
and too drunk to go home. 

Parties bring out the best in you,
they bring out your worst.

At a party i'm everyone's friend
And i'm no one's.

Everyone looks to see what you'll do
but you're waitin' for them too.

We're all looking for something,
it could be good or bad .

Don't matter to me,
so long as I can feel. Cause I'm....

...sitting at a party, too sad to laugh
and too drunk to go home. 

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Real Men Hunt Real Beasts


I would like to point out that shooting a Deer or an Elephant or a Blue Whale is pathetically easy. After all they're ginormous. A real hunting challenge is plugging a common Field Mouse at 100 paces. Particularly if it's a duel and the little nipper is firing back.  I've set out to hunt, kill and mount every single type of vermin that vex my property today. Mice, voles, crows, cockroaches, fire ants, you name it, I'm going to take them down and mount their heads on my wall.

That'll teach 'em to screw with me.

On Monocles


I really think Monocles are going to come back into style.

You know the Monocle: that one eyed wonder of vision correction beloved by Terrifyingly Taut Teutons in all those old war movies. I think they went out of style because they reminded us of Nazis or some other equally prissy category of bad guys. But it could also have been because the "classic" monocle wasn't particularly versatile, having only "in" and "out" settings. In today's hip, "with it" world the humble monocle becomes a whole range of monocle-based technologies. There is of course the Monocle "Classic" for daily domination but there's also the "reading" monocle and the "sun" monocle with the exciting possibility of having a bi-monocle that goes darker in the sun making you a dreaded monocle triple-threat.

Then there are different fashion choices:  I particularly am fond of the cheap "Wrap-around" Sun-Monocle styling that I'm sure will sweep the nether regions of California and Florida before long.

Some days when I'm feeling particularly sinister I put in just one of my contact lenses which is just like having a monocle although it's hard to peer down at someone with studied contempt while holding your contact lens over your eye. This is because when trying to get your contact/monocle you end up poking yourself in the eye, causing it to water which makes it look like half of you is crying which isn't a particularly sinister look no matter what your sycophantic henchmen say.

You heard it here first: the Monocle is back. Bigger, brighter and more intimidating than ever.

Saturday, April 22, 2017

The lover

I'm not something different than you
I'm just like you, and I hurt too

I heard you cry
as you fell from the sky

I felt your tears,
they became my fears

But you're in the joker's palace
The jokers strong, he has me too

But if you'll just take a shot
Take a shot with me

Then we can get out of here
and get free.

So just take a shot
please take that shot
take that shot with me

Look for the lover,
He'll love us free

So just take a shot
take this shot with me

He's been waiting forever
Free to you and me

So we'll take our shot,
just take our shot,
take our shot and be free.

I'm not something different than you
I'm just like you, and I want to be free too.



Thursday, April 20, 2017

Let's go out dancing tonight

You're a woman that everyone should know in this place.
Know that your beauty goes way deeper than just your face.
Everyone looks at you and asks what you'll do.
But they don't know you the way I do.

Cause you don't know what you'll do and that's OK,
no you don't know what  you'll do and that's OK
Everyone thinks they know you but they don't have a clue,
so baby let's go out dancing tonight.

I'm the kind of man that don't make sense today,
The kind your head tells you stay away.
Everybody looks at me and knows that I'm not for you
But they don't know me the way you do.

Cause I don't know what I'll do and that's OK,
no I don't know what I'll do and that's OK.
Everybody thinks they know me but they don't have a clue,
so baby let's go out dancing tonight.

Everyone says that you can't change how you feel
that you have to play the cards in the deal.
Well they don't know you and they don't know me,
hell, we don't even know what we'll be.

It may be love but it may not be,
yes it may be love but it may not be.
Everyone thinks they know what we'll do but they have no clue,
so baby lets go out dancing tonight.

But if you don't want to play then get up and walk away.
We'll leave the cards face down and go our separate ways
Remembering what this felt like,
what it meant to be this way.

But I'll always miss you and that's OK,
yeah I'll always miss you and that's OK.
'cause no one knows how it felt to be with you this way.
And I'll always remember when we went out dancing that day.

Friday, April 7, 2017

Look up

Look up,
Let your gaze rise.
Look up,
See with His eyes.

It's so dark when our eyes are closed.
We always lose our way.
We get lost gazing at ourselves
and forget our faith.

Look up,
Let your gaze rise.
Look up,
See with His eyes.

When we can't see we think we're alone.
Even with angels there.
Looking down we keep stepping on toes.
People don't think we care.

Look up,
Let your gaze rise.
Look up,
See with His eyes.

See all the beautiful souls,
headed to eternity.
See all the God breathed miracles,
yearning to be free.

Look up,
Let your gaze rise.
Look up,
See with His eyes.